Three Trials Read online

  “Well, apparently I was too. The point is, did I make you slaves as my payment?” I ask, seriously worried just how horrible I truly was.

  “No,” Jude says like he knows the answer. “It was a truly free gift. Besides, that would have been too easy and you secretly hate easy.”

  “He’s right,” Gage says, drawing my attention back to him. “You healed their bodily wounds. You released them from the chains. And you pushed the power into their bodies one at a time. Then you hovered over them, caring for them for almost a century, as their minds and bodies continued to grow stronger. They slept under your watchful eye for the first time since the madness crept in. And they made up for the many centuries that sleep had evaded them. That version of you was enchanted by the effect you—and only you—seemed to have on them—on us.”

  Ezekiel’s hands slide around my waist, almost as though he’s drawing some of that peace out of me. Rather ironic that I provide peace, given the obvious.

  “The end of the world offers the four of you peaceful dreams. I’m starting to wonder just how mad you must have been,” I state dryly.

  Jude’s lips twitch as he leans over to my ear. “That means we were really fucking terrible before you.”

  Suppressing a shiver, I stare at Gage as he grins enigmatically.

  “After a century of peaceful rest in her chambers, the four awoke ready to destroy the entire world so it would only be the five of them,” he says conversationally.

  “Geez, you psychos,” I say on a breath. “You even scared the Devil’s daughter.”

  Gage chuckles, handing the book off to Kai as though he’s amused. Kai grins broadly.

  “Apocalypse, being ever so vain, refused to admit failure. Besides, she’d gotten so attached to the four after watching over them for a solid century that she couldn’t bear to hand them over to Lucifer to drain the power from and toss back into hell’s black heart.”

  Kai pauses his reading, meeting my eyes.

  “So she gave all four of them a piece of her sacred balance, disrupting her own stability in an effort to save them from themselves,” he adds, holding my gaze. “She tied herself to them, leaving her less than whole. When their bond suffered, she suffered twice as much.”

  I swallow thickly.

  I enjoyed killing an insignificant mortal man. I also left a fiery trail behind, burning the world around me uncontrollably. All because their bond to each other was hurting so much in the wake of my death.

  “Simply put, you gave up bits of your much more powerful balance and infused it with ours in an effort to restore our stability by stealing from your own,” Jude says, brushing a piece of my hair away from my shoulder as he stares at me differently.

  “The power did bond the four of us, uniting us in a way that helped stave off some of the madness, but it didn’t restore the balance like you’d assumed,” Gage goes on, also staring at me a little differently. “You had no idea just how unsalvageable we truly were when you came to care about us.”

  “And you refused to send us back to our place in the black heart, and instead gave away something you didn’t even know if you could afford to give away. And to four men who were still unpredictable and could hurt you at their leisure by simply abandoning you and sending you on to live the fate we’d just managed to escape after the madness took you,” Kai continues.

  I need a drink.

  “Which is really freaking dangerous, considering I’m The Apocalypse,” I say on a breath. “Not to mention, the four of you are notably ungrateful, so it’s doubtful you felt immense gratitude for such an incredible self-sacrifice of my own.”

  Jude chokes back a laugh of surprise, shaking his head. Clearly they must have been grateful if the world isn’t in ashes all these years later.

  “The Apocalypse, as she often referred to herself, took the most selfishly selfless risk in doing so. Instead of betraying her, as she’d feared, they proved to be the most loyal harem she’d ever invited into her bed. And she was their first taste of pleasure in centuries,” Kai reads on.

  His eyes flick back over me, raking down my face and to my body.

  “It’s a wonder we settled for less even without our memories,” he murmurs to himself.

  I sit a little taller, if I do say so myself.

  Ezekiel moves and takes the book away, reading it for us now.

  “Lucifer trusted her when she said they were ready, and he granted them protection, power, prestige, and various other things Apocalypse asked for, in an effort to help keep them safe, since she broke the law and gave them bits of her. Lucifer would never kill them now. He simply couldn’t. His daughter would suffer a fate he couldn’t spare her from if he did, for she’d shared too much, and only she could take it back.”

  “Guess that means I’m too stubborn to do so, since you all clearly still have a piece of me wedged in you. That’s why I can’t be away from you for too long. Even in whole form, I have limits it seems. But how were you reborn with the same piece if we were all killed?” I ask, looking at Ezekiel. “Does it say?”

  He shakes his head. “This is just the origins. The rest is a series of equations that make no sense to me to explain proper balance, execution of power, and various other things. If I could understand the equations, I might could understand our powers better.”

  “Well, what can kill us? Clearly the Devil’s poison couldn’t truly kill me. What about you?” I ask.

  “We’ve been out of hell this entire time, not getting our power boosts and such,” Jude says on a breath. “It makes us more vulnerable than we apparently were in that life. In that life, it would have been impossible to kill us.”

  “Evidently that’s not true,” I point out.

  “According to some of the notations in the margins, only the Devil himself could have killed us in hell,” Ezekiel says absently, still studying those equations.

  Daintily, I dab the corners of my mouth with my napkin, then go phantom and put on clothes. No need to be naked right now. We’ll not be going for round two just yet.

  They’re all just in jogging pants that they put on while I was cooking. It’s actually a very domestic image of us. Or at least it was.

  “Why are you wearing your badass clothes?” Gage asks warily.

  “So you finally admit this outfit is badass,” I state, becoming whole to see how the weapons fare.

  “They’re plastic,” Jude says as he picks up a knife from my hip, rumbles of laughter following that with more carefree abandon than I’ve ever heard from them.

  I’m almost distracted by the way all of them are laughing, and I don’t even mind that they’re laughing at me and the fact I apparently suck at making my weapons as real as I am.

  “Glad we didn’t have to rely on these in the trials,” Ezekiel says through his guffaws as he throws a plastic ninja star.

  It bounces off the wall.

  This renews their laughter.

  A smile creeps across my face as I take it in, all of them snickering around the brunch table like I’ve never once—during all my years stalking them like their unseen guardian—seen them do before.

  It’s not dark laughter. It’s not amused laughter. It’s surprised, real, hardy laughter that goes on and on, everyone keeping it rolling by lifting another weapon and making a joke.

  “Could you imagine if we’d stabbed one of the blind tribesmen with this?” Gage asks, barely choking the words out through his chuckles as he stabs Ezekiel.

  It breaks on impact, and it sets them all off again.

  I take it all in, unwilling to break up this rare, never witnessed moment between the four of them.

  They look…human. For just this brief glimpse in time.

  No wonder the old me wanted as many mortal lives as possible with them. It let me see them like this. I can only imagine how’d they’d be now if they hadn’t died and come back with cleansed souls that expelled the madness altogether.

  “You expect diamonds and lush gifts, when these were
the gifts you offered in a land of every form of death?” Gage asks through his own hysteria.

  “I gave you a course of monsters and blind cannibals filled with death riddles in hell’s belly for your birthday. The fact I’m a terrible gift-giver is quite apparent. Side note, none of you should be encouraged to ever tell me your birthdays.”

  Because the laughter momentum is already fierce, they finally laugh at one of my jokes the way my joke deserves to be laughed at. I quite literally pat myself on the back.

  “So, seriously, why are you dressed like that right now?” Kai asks as their laughter tapers off.

  “Because now I realize who killed us, so I’m going to nip the problem in the bud before history repeats itself.”

  The lingering laughter dissipates with that.

  Ezekiel moves toward me.

  “What do you mean?”

  “It means I’m going to go kill the Devil, of course,” I say with a shrug before going phantom and focusing really hard on the underworld.

  On Lamar.

  On Manella.

  On Lucifer himself.

  “Shit,” Jude shouts, breaking up the silence.

  I feel tingles pass through me from four directions just as my eyes open to see I most definitely just siphoned myself to hell.

  Looking around at four angry glares, I realize I also brought along some stowaways. How is that possible? I can’t siphon them!

  “You four can’t be here,” I hiss, shoving them away from me.

  I flick my wrist, expecting them to go back home, but apparently the Devil’s daughter doesn’t know how to use all her power. Doesn’t matter. I know how to use the killing ones.

  “You can’t be serious,” Gage growls as I stay in phantom form.

  “Actually, I am. I just need to find a book that tells me how to navigate the illusions the hallways present to keep you walking in circles.”

  I go whole, walking toward the massive bookcase filled with little details of hell, I’m sure. Seems I landed us in the last spot we left when we visited hell.

  Two arms immediately grab me, but I go phantom and roll my eyes, walking on undeterred.

  “You can’t kill the fucking Devil,” Jude growls, getting in front of me.

  I pass through him and start looking for the appropriate book. One catches my eye, because the word PACA appears on the binding for a split second before disappearing.

  “I think I can. After all, I apparently have the power to destroy the world. I’m sure the Devil made me for that reason because he couldn’t do it himself. By the way, if the Devil made me, you were wrong about him not being capable of such, back when we had this discussion before the trials.”

  “Stop talking in circles. Damn it, Paca, Don’t fucking do this,” Kai snaps, trying to grab me as well.

  “I’m phantom,” I remind them. “Will one of you be a dear and collect that for me? I think it’s mine.”

  Gage grabs the book and holds it up like it’s leverage as he smirks. “If you want it, come and get it.”

  I put my hands on my hips as I level him with an unimpressed glare.

  “If I don’t kill him, he’ll come to kill us,” I point out.

  “That makes no sense. He could have killed us in the trials if he wanted—”

  “He’s waiting for me to appear so he can kill me too,” I say, interrupting Ezekiel. “Reasonably speaking, if he’s the only one who could kill us, then clearly he’s the one who did kill us. I’m not overly concerned with his motives. I just want to stop him before he succeeds twice and steals all these memories as well.”

  Gage hesitates, like he’s considering opening the book for me instead of leveraging it against me.

  “That’s insane. You don’t even fucking know if you can kill him,” Jude barks, refusing to let this lie. Figures. He’s always the last to come around, it seems.

  Gage is immediately back on his side.

  The more things change, the more they stay the same…

  “Lamar stated I have the best reasoning even when it doesn’t make sense to anyone else,” I primly remind them, shoulders back and head held high.

  Four incredulous glares meet me.

  “So now we’re trusting Lamar because it’s convenient to your argument?” Kai asks me dryly.

  “He’s not wrong. I’m undeniably reasonable about everything but the four of you. The heart gets a little too involved there,” I state absently, turning back around and looking for more of my books. “The Devil needs to die, and I’ll either kill him today or wait until you’re asleep to return and kill him later. Your interference only hinders me in this moment.”

  “What the hell makes you think you can kill Lucifer?” Jude snaps.

  “What makes you think The Apocalypse isn’t stronger than the Devil himself?” I volley.

  I grin over my shoulder at them, and they all glare back at me.

  “Worst case scenario, I still can’t kill him, despite my level-ups, and I scoot out of there before he kills me. He won’t come topside, and we’ll continue to thwart attacks,” I go on.

  “I knew you were here.” Lamar’s voice cuts through the room like a shock to the system. “I assume she is too.”

  We all turn to stare at him in the doorway as his face lights up like hell’s worst aren’t literally standing in his room. Alone. With him. After already being undecided on whether he dies or not.

  He’s not a very smart fellow, is he?

  His smile disappears. “Oh shit. You still don’t remember.”

  “We’re here because you told her she was reasonable,” Gage tells him in accusation.

  “It’s the one thing she knows for certain is true,” Jude goes on, quite dramatically sarcastic, if you ask me.

  “Okay,” Lamar says, looking confused. “What is wrong with her being reasonable?”

  “Because reasonably, it’s safe to assume the Devil killed us,” Ezekiel says, glaring at him.

  Lamar pales. “Oh dear. That’s not at all—”

  “Don’t bother backtracking,” I say, turning whole and cutting him off as I gesture toward the journal Gage is still holding. “Open it up and tell me how to find the Devil. Or do you already know?”

  “I know how to find your father—”

  “Don’t try to humanize him or me by calling him my father, when I’m without a conscience,” I point out, interrupting Lamar and reminding him of the knowledge I’ve gathered about my manufactured self.

  “You’re not capable of guilt or conscience, so when you feel regret, it is true, unpersuaded, heart-wrenching regret,” he says seriously, causing me to hesitate for a split second. “And you’d certainly regret this.”

  “You’re not strong enough to kill your father, but he is strong enough to kill all of us,” Gage says like he’s trying to reason with me. “Let’s think this through.”

  “He can’t come topside. That much we know. The longer we delay, the longer he dangles us on his strings whilst he plays the mad puppeteer,” I say on a frustrated sigh. “I’m not opposed to killing, and it seems to be the most logical solution to our current problem. I just got you four. I’m not ready to die without at least a little fight.”

  Lamar pinches the bridge of his nose.

  “Just remember you convinced her that she’s reasonable,” Ezekiel growls, causing Lamar to groan.

  “Well, the old Paca was very reasonable, but also very knowledgeable and not running on snippets of information,” he finally gripes, glaring at Ezekiel before looking back to me. “You need to read your journals.”

  “Do they say I’m a daddy’s girl or something? We’re in hell. He’s the Devil. I expect manipulation and tricks. I won’t believe words just because they’re on a page in a book we got from hell.”

  “I don’t know what the journals say, to be honest. You blessed them so that only your blood would reveal the words,” Lamar answers.

  “You were going to read my journals?” I ask on an octave higher. “Those
are private!”

  “Someone else reason with her. I’ve forgotten how exhausting she can be,” he groans.

  “If Lucifer didn’t want us dead because it would have made his child suffer, I highly doubt he’s responsible for our deaths,” Jude says, reciting the origins journal.

  “That was from the beginning, and a lot of centuries have passed since I spiced the four of you up real nice. I was created to be a robotic weapon. What if I decided I never wanted to blow the world to bits and he killed me so he could replace me, because there has to be six, not seven children, even though there are already technically seven children, regardless of the weird loophole rule?”

  Everyone flicks a gaze between them, almost as though that hadn’t crossed their minds.

  “Oh for heaven’s sake—”

  “Really, Lamar? Heaven’s sake? Is that entirely appropriate?” I ask seriously.

  He groans and scrubs a hand down his face.

  “What on earth are you wearing?” he asks as he shakes his head.

  “My ass-kicking, badass attire. Blame Catwoman for making leather bodysuits so fashionable while whooping ass and taking names. Take me to see Lucifer, get me all my journals, and then we’ll be on our way.”

  He just studies me, and I study him right back.

  “How about a compromise?” Kai bites out, glaring at me. “You pretend you have your memories and just speak with Lucifer. It’ll be you manipulating him to find out the truth about what happened.”

  “And what if he kills her on the fucking spot?” Ezekiel snaps, shoving at Kai’s chest.

  “So you admit he’s likely the one who wants us dead,” I say to Ezekiel, patting his shoulder and ignoring all the sounds of exasperation.

  “Lamar, send them home. I’d like to see my father now,” I tell him with a smirk.

  “Lamar, don’t you fucking—”

  Jude’s words are cut off when the four of them are suddenly no longer in the room.

  “They’re in the graveyard now,” Lamar says, opening his eyes as his jaw tics.

  I cock my head, a slow grin forming on my lips. “I just gave you a command, and you totally obeyed.”